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It happened. Now what?

You found disturbing messages, or your child came to you. Breathe. What you do in the next hour matters — and it's simpler than it feels. Follow the steps in order.

Step 1 — Your reaction is the first decision

  1. Stay calm in front of your child. Anger — even anger at the predator — reads as anger at them, and shame is what makes kids hide things next time.
  2. Say this, or something like it: "Thank you for telling me. You are not in trouble. This is not your fault." Say it even if you found out on your own.
  3. Do not take the device away as punishment. To your child, that confirms telling you = losing everything.

Step 2 — Preserve the evidence

  1. Do not delete anything — no messages, no accounts, no photos, even the ones that upset you. Deleted evidence can't convict anyone.
  2. Take screenshots of the conversations including the username, profile, and dates visible on screen.
  3. Note the platform, the stranger's username, and roughly when it started. Save everything in one folder.

Step 3 — Do NOT engage

  1. Do not message the predator — not to confront, not to threaten, not to 'investigate' from your child's profile. It tips them off and can compromise a real investigation.
  2. After screenshots are saved: report the profile on the platform, then block.

Step 4 — Report it officially

  1. Immediate danger (they know your address, arranged a meeting, made threats): call 911 now.
  2. Otherwise: file a report at the NCMEC CyberTipline — report.cybertip.org or 1-800-843-5678. This is the official U.S. channel and they coordinate with law enforcement.
  3. You can also report online crimes to the FBI at tips.fbi.gov.

If images of your child were shared

  1. NCMEC's free tool Take It Down (takeitdown.ncmec.org) helps remove or block intimate images of minors on major platforms — it works even if the image was already sent, and it can be used anonymously.
  2. If there's blackmail (sextortion): never pay and never send more images. Complying always leads to more demands. Stop responding, save evidence, report. Blackmailers overwhelmingly move on when the victim stops engaging and reports.

Step 5 — The conversation afterwards

Once the practical steps are done, your child needs to hear three things — more than once:

  1. "The adult broke the rules, not you." Groomers are professionals at manipulation; falling for a professional isn't a child's failure.
  2. "You can always come to me." Then prove it by not punishing the telling.
  3. "We handle this together." Involve them in age-appropriate ways so they feel agency, not surveillance.

The days after

  1. Watch for signs of distress: sleep changes, dropping grades, avoiding the game or the phone entirely, unusual anger or withdrawal.
  2. A school counselor or a therapist experienced with children is not an overreaction — it's maintenance. Ask your pediatrician for a referral if unsure.
  3. Rebuild normal gaming gradually, with the settings from our tutorials in place. The goal is a safer normal, not fear.
Never do these:
  • Delete messages, photos or accounts — that's the evidence.
  • Contact or threaten the predator.
  • Punish your child or take the device as a consequence of telling.
  • Pay a blackmailer or comply with any demand.
  • Post about it publicly with names — it can compromise the case and expose your child.